The first thing you will do when setting up the site is tell about yourself. On one of my favorites, Plenty of Fish, you will also create a tagline that draws people to your site. The tagline is different from your screen name and they phrase it as what are you looking for. My screen name is pretty standard for me, actually the same as it is here minus my email attached. My tagline however, is comical and makes people look at it and go "what? huh? oh, ha ha" Ok, that is what I have been told my tagline made one guy do. My tagline is Looking for Tom Foolery at Uncle Tom's Cabin. It does kind of date me, as I was told by another guy, but it is fresh and funny. The Sultan told me that the tagline is an important part of getting the guy's attention. If your tagline is fresh and funny, then he will want to read more.
Next up is your profile picture. Ok, this picture should be YOU, not you and friends, not someone you wish you looked like but YOU. It should be classy and nice, but should also show your personality. It can be artsy, plain, or silly. It simply needs to be you. If you have a photo that captures your personality completely, then I suggest using that. So long as it is tasteful. If a guy sees a picture of you looking like a two dollar hooker, he is instantly going to think about sex and nothing more. If you want the guy to see you as a potential for dating or relationships then you need to look classy and nice; you need to look like someone he can take to meet his mom. I get that the meeting mom thing doesn't come up immediately, or I really hope it doesn't, but that is how you should look in your profile photos. The Sultan also said that one of his biggest pet peeves is when the girl is pictured with like three of her friends. How can he tell who you are in there? C'mon, make this easy for them girls. Make them see you as someone they want to spoil and buy flowers for. Be ladies and expect to be treated as such.
Now, about your description of yourself. Make this interesting and fun to read. It is hard enough for some of these boys to get past the pictures and read what you have to say, so make it interesting. See, I wrote a short novel, can you imagine me doing that? Never never me, I don't babble incessantly. Ok, there is a bit of the comedy for you. The comedy should fit your personality and be fun. Make him smile when he reads it. Make him be able to see those great personality traits you have. I will add some of my profile in here for you, just as a guide. It generally gets a lot of attention and due to the length and information in it I can tell if the guy is one I am willing to speak to further. I can tell because I look for clues to whether or not he read the thing. I tell about what I am doing in life, what I like in life and what I expect of a mate. Your expectations are really important, so think about them and make them clear. Don't settle for less, you are just selling yourself short. This line gets me a lot of attention: I have a rather dark sense of humor and I am a big dork, not a whale penis, just silly at times. It is comical and honest. It shows that I can and will laugh at myself, for some reason they eat that up. You should also include some of your outlook on life, but be positive for crying out loud. Just like we want to see a confident man, they want a confident woman. Leave your jealousy and insecurity at the door, if he is hanging with you then he is into you. Run with it. All your jealousy and insecurity will show him is that you know how to be a world class drama queen. Guess what??? They don't want your drama. Most of the men I know and have met simply want a companion. A person that they can share daily life with and that they can talk to. If you can't communicate, learn to; if you are of jealous nature, get over it. You will have far more luck carrying yourself with poise and confidence than you will with jealousy and insecurity.
Ok, another thing the Sultan brought to my attention is making contact. He said that since you have signed up for this, then you have pretty much bypassed traditional lines of communication. Granted the guys can see if you have looked at them, but that shouldn't be all you do. You need to make contact. Go for it!!! The first couple of times you do this, it will be difficult and uncomfortable, but it is worth it. If nothing else it will teach you something about yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin and if a guy interests you, write to him. Say something witty, bring up something from his profile and make sure to ask at least one question. The question can be silly, serious, or just something about his profile. "Hey, how are you today?" does not count as a question. Try to be semi original. A good friend of mine is great at writing these questions. She delves into their personality and asks questions pertaining to their profile and photos. Here is what she wrote to one guy:
First off, I want to let you know that you have a very cute dog there! Ok, to my questions,
What kind of bike is that?
How long have you been a DDR player?
How do you feel about people who can't dance very well?
:) Have a good day.
She did really well here because she asked him about things that interest him and are important to him. People generally like to talk about themselves and their interests, so those are a good conversation starter. Remember, you aren't the only person that is contacting him, let him know why you are the one he should talk to and take out.
Now, it is kind of hard to get the full picture of a person from a profile page. Believe me, I have a hyper and obnoxious personality that sends them running sometimes, that or I get bored with them because they can't keep up, but I am honest about this out of the gate. I don't hide who I am and neither should you. That being said, some of these men will hide themselves. Some will be married and looking to play you; some will simply be players looking to play you. There are signs that show what you are dealing with. Communication is one of them. If the communication seems short and spotty, he is likely hiding something. If he only contacts you at certain times, ask what he does for a living; you can tell if the communication is simply around his job then. If he contacts you at odd times and seems distracted, he is probably married or in some other relationship. Follow your gut and if you have to then do some research. I recently went on a date with a guy and missed all of the signs. I found out he was married because I work with a good friend of his and that friend told me that he is married. I was livid, so I created a Sock (fake account) and messed with him a bit. It was fun, didn't make me feel better but was fun anyway. See, I was the wronged wife so I REFUSE to be the homewrecker. Watch for signs and keep open communication.
Now for the meeting. When you meet him the first time, I suggest that you drive your own vehicle and meet him somewhere public. Never let a crazy know where you live is my motto. I have gotten a stalker or two from this so it was really good that they didn't know where I live. Now, I have met more good type guys that I just didn't click with than crazies. Mainly because I weed the crazies out in the first email or two. You should keep the meeting public, restaurants are best. Stay away from movies, they are too private for one and you can't get to know a person in a dark theater watching a movie. Also, how you dress is important. You should look like a lady, you can wear clean jeans and a nice blouse or a suit. Sultan Sassypants suggests that you wear something sexy but classy. Stay away from those terribly slutty things if you want more than a roll in the hay. If you go out looking like a slut, he is not going to want to see you again. Once more, you should think about his mom. Would she be mortified to see her son with you? If so, don't wear it. I will include some examples at the end here.
Ok, so now you know how to put this together. How to handle that first meeting and what you should and shouldn't wear. It is important that you realize you will have to go through a few frogs before your prince appears, so be patient. I have a really funny email I got recently that I would like to share with you. It is sweet, but ridiculous in so many ways. I will give his contact info in case we have any gold diggers reading this. This man is on Plenty of Fish. Here goes: FROM: Justahunch Hello Choley, I am Paul from Aussie…I am seeking a fun younger girl to travel with me around the world!
Are you intelligent, have a good sense of humor & very sexerie?
If you are that girl…you will never have to work or worry about anything for the rest of your life! (Its all true too)
I just want someone to love & spoil tha hell out of!
Paul xo
The following images were attached to this message.
This work of art, was sent to me with the title: Simply Stunning. I got the best laugh from this. Did I respond? NO!!!! Here is the other part of this ladies. If you get a creepy message or something, simply don't respond. Don't get offensive and tell them how horrid they are, simply ignore them. A few of them will keep writing but most get the hint if you fail to respond. If you respond, you are asking for a stalker. I personally am a wee cruel. I use some of these for facebook fodder. It makes me and my friends laugh on occasion and makes me feel better about getting the crazy emails when I can do something with them. I fight myself not to write to them and tell them what morons they are. It does no good to talk to them, so don't.
One more thing before I close, if you are in Casper Wyoming and on a dating site. Sultan Sassypants wants me to let you know to talk to the guy in the white hat. Good luck ladies and have fun with it!!!
DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT WEAR ANY OF THESE OUTFITS!!!!
BASIC BLACK, CAN'T GO WRONG.
TAILORED WITH NICE LINES. SHOWS YOUR CURVES AND LEAVES EVERYTHING TO THE IMAGINATION. VERY SEXY.
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