Tip #6-M: The Friend Zone

Ok boys, this one is about the friend zone. You know, where a girl tells you she really likes you but only as a friend? Ok, so this is legitimate. Girls really do have guy friends that they only like as friends. Now, you need to understand that girls DO occasionally fall for their guy friends, but there is a very small window of opportunity here. Now boys, when the girl is digging you and wants more than that friendship/brother thing she will let you know. NO, she won't come out and say it. It will be subtle, she will touch you a bit more than normal. She will look at you a bit more than normal. She will smile at you a bit more than normal. The signs are all there, but if you don't make a move she won't. Most girls will not make the first move. It is just not in our genetic code. There are a few of us who have no boundaries and will simply go for it, but we are few and far between. Personally, I hate making the first move. I don't see that as my job. I see that as the man's job. I lean towards treating men as protectors and hunter/gatherers. Ok, this sounds a bit retarded but what I am saying is that I like to treat men like they are men. I am kinda old fashioned so I have some expectations and I try to make sure that the guy's are met as well.
Back to the friend gig. Once you hit friend level you are pretty much out for relationship. There are circumstances where that is not true and girls fall for the guy, but generally speaking, the guy has to make the move at the right moment. See, girls understand hints and expect you to as well. Guess what, I know that guys don't get hints well. For some reason they simply don't register for you. So, I suggest that you do a bit of research on the hints that a girl gives because it doesn't matter that you don't get them, girls are going to throw hints either way. Sometimes you will get lucky and she will throw you a blatant hint, that is your opportunity to go for it because if you don't, she will revert back to friend mode wondering why she ever thought she wanted to be anything else. Then five plus years later she will tell you all about the day that you could have had her as more. Do you really want that? I don't think so.
You see, while you are out learning sports or playing video games. We are learning the art of manipulation. Some of us don't even realize that is what is happening, but it is so ingrained in women that like it or not we pick it up. Some of us are better than others and some just don't care, but we all do it. Our mothers, grandmothers, aunts and any other women in our lives teach this to us without even realizing it half of the time. We emulate others. Now, not all friend gigs can turn to something more, but a lot of them can.
The friend zone is a place that we put you when we like you, but just aren't attracted to you. Sometimes we just dig having guy friends because we don't get along with women well, but other times we just want a place to classify you. We want you around but we don't want you to think that you will get more than our friendship. I tend to place the more insecure guys in my life in the friend zone. Also, I am a wee shallow and if there is no physical attraction there, I will stick you in friend zone. You won't know which because I dig you and don't want to hurt your feelings by saying why I only want friendship from you. Sometimes we only want friendship because we are still hung up on an ex. It doesn't matter that the ex was a douche or that he is dating someone else, if we are hung up emotionally then we are hung up until we decide to let it go. Just to be clear, this can take a while.
Back to hints. Now, what I have to say here is that you need to follow your gut. Don't second guess yourself because you are generally wrong when you do. Ever taken a quiz and put the correct answer down only to second guess it and put the wrong answer? This applies to women as well. If you are digging the girl and not getting the vibe that she will deck you if you move on her, then make a subtle and respectful move. Girls love the sweet shit. Kiss her forehead or her hand if you are worried, then watch her body language as you pull back. If she seems a bit swoony then kiss her gently on the lips. If she is digging you then she will reciprocate. If she is not then she will tell you so, she is your friend so she will do so gently. Sure, it is a bit embarrassing, but chalk it up to a lesson well learned and an experience worth having. Say something about having to try because you just like her so well. She will respect your honesty and be very open with you. Let her know that you didn't mean disrespect and then drop it. Believe me, she doesn't want the weirdness or to lose a friend any more than you do.
The friend zone is not your enemy. Having a guy friend is an important part of a girl's life and we respect their opinions and tend to listen to them more than others. Being a friend doesn't exclude you from things, it includes you. Sometimes it can lead to more, but even if it doesn't, know that you are a valuable part of our lives. We don't want to lose you, we respect you and we certainly don't want to hurt you. Be aware of the signs we give you and keep an open line of communication. If you communicate with us well, then you have a good shot at staying in our lives for a long time. Remember to hold your head high and find your self worth, if you don't have the confidence in yourself then it will be hard for us to see anything other than friendship in you. Also, just because we only want to be friends does not mean that there isn't a girl out there for you. Hell, we will likely try to help you find her.

free web hit counter download